Christmas Cupid

Starring Christina Milian as Sloane Spencer, Ashley Benson as Caitlin Quinn, Chad Michael Murray as Patrick, Jackée Harry as Sloane’s Mom, Ashley Johnson as Jenny, Burgess Jenkins as Andrew and Ryan Sypek as Jason.

Sloane Spencer works in PR in LA. One of her biggest clients is Caitlin Quinn, a Lindsay Lohan wannabe and massive handful. Sloane is competing for the VP spot in her firm, along with ex Jason, whom I thought would be her main love interest in this clearly romantic centered Christmas movie. Sloane surprisingly (or not if you’re more perceptive than me) is dating her boss Andrew – the big boss’ son. Sloane’s focus is on her promotion – even making her staff work on Christmas Day to launch a big party for Caitlin’s new movie Snow Angel, and promising and then forgetting to help launch her BFFs new restaurant. Ironically before the Snow Angel party, Caitlin herself dies, choking on a martini olive (this reminded me of that singer who died choking on a ham sandwich) and the Snow Angel launched is merged into a memorial as well. You know what they say, any publicity is good publicity. Caitlin visits Sloane right after she dies, telling her that she’ll be visited by three ghosts, and that she must change her ways. Caitlin seems to accept her death very quickly, which I found a little unrealistic. She also carried a martini glass around with her at all times, which people can see when she’s not holding it.

Sloane doesn’t believe her, of course, because why would you believe the vapid ghost of a dead client? (I would believe ANY ghost that visited me, for real). When viewing Caitlin’s body at the hospital, Sloane runs into the real ex of this movie, College boyfriend Patrick. Sloane puts off having dinner with him, and that night is visiting by her first spirit, who has taken the form of her first ex, High School boyfriend Brad. Brad and Caitlin take Sloane to visit all her exes, and Sloane starts to realise how she has been ‘trading up’ all these years, just like her mother. When they reach the scene of her break up with Patrick, Sloane realises that Patrick was going to propose to her, before she packed up her stuff and took off on him. The Spirit Brad tells Sloane how her current boyfriend Andrew is cheating on her, and breaks up with Andrew the next day. She also agrees to meet Patrick for dinner, and everything is going well until Andrew shows up and proposes to Sloane. She accepts, and poor Patrick slinks out with his tail between his legs for the second time. That night Caitlin and the ghost of Christmas Present ‘Jason’, show Sloane how her actions have affected the people in her life on this Christmas Day. Her friend Jenny and husband Ed talking about how Sloane takes Jenny for granted, her secretary Ella misses out on spending Christmas with her son, and her mother spending Christmas totally alone. Lastly, Sloane sees Patrick the night before watching her kiss Andrew after the proposal and finding out Andrew was actually on the phone the whole time.

While Sloane attempts to fix things with Jenny and Patrick the next day, she only makes things worse, and as the third night approaches, everything seems bleak. Sloane finally sees what her selfish ways have cost her and those around her – Her mother replaces her with a dog, Jenny’s business failed and she is working as a waitress and Sloane is dying in hospital all alone (and divorced from Andrew, who reveals himself to be the third spirit). Sloane wakes the next morning and leans out the window to ask a little orphaned Rabbit what day it is. “Why t’is Christmas Day Sir,” the Rabbit replies (maybe I’m confusing this part with A Muppet Christmas Carol ;)). But seriously, she goes off to her Mom’s, and instead of getting their traditional photo taken like I thought they would, she takes her Mom and drops her at Jenny’s house. Righto, I’d be all like, ‘thanks again for nothing,’ if I was Jenny. But at least her Mom isn’t alone, although she isn’t with family. Next Sloane lets her secretary go home (what about everyone else working?) and makes sure Jenny’s gift cards go in the Celebrity gift bags. Sloane then gets her promotion, dumps Andrew, and sees Caitlin get her wings. Finally, she of course goes to the hospital, convinces Patrick she made a mistake, and they end up at Jenny’s with her family and friends.

“God bless us, every one.”

Rating – This is one of the few movies Sarah and I watched apart. Funnily enough, we both gave it a seven. For me, the fact that Ashley Benson and Chad Michael Murray were in it was awesome, and I love almost any adaptation of A Christmas Carol, although it wasn’t the best I’ve seen. Still, 7/10 isn’t bad!

Richie Rich’s Christmas Wish

Starring: David Gallagher, Martin Mull, Lesley Ann Warren, Jake Richardson, Eugene Levy, Keene Curtis, Don McLeod, Michelle Trachtenberg, Richard Fancy, Marla Maples.

I had very high hopes for this movie, given that it starred David Gallagher (7^th Heaven fan here) and also given the fact it was about Richie Rich. Let’s see if my expectations were met, shall we?

The movie starts off with Richie’s parents planting a Christmas tree for him out the front of their mansion, when he is a little baby. Cute idea! The tree grows as Richie grows. Moving forward to current time, Richie and his friends are on snow vehicles of some sort (forgive my snow vehicle ignorance), when Cadbury decides Richie has done enough shirking responsibility for now, and uses a master remote to guide the vehicles back to him. Richie reluctantly bids his friends adieu (adieu = French = fancy = rich!), and trudges inside. He takes a detour to see Professor Keanbean before officially starting his duties, however, and discovers Keanbean has made a wishing machine out of a washing machine and the biggest wishing bone there is. Given Richie’s lack of enthusiasm towards his responsibilities and the fact we now have a wishing machine, I’m beginning to see the plot. On his first wish, the wishing machine proves it has some kinks, when instead of a big pie, Richie is gifted with a pig sty. His outfit is ruined, but no mind, he’s about to get dressed in an adorable elf costume. Cadbury, dressed as Santa, turns out to have a little secret tattoo on his leg – a mouth with the words ‘root canal’, because the obvious career path to butlerhood is being a groupie for a punk metal band name ‘root canal’. Despite this weird revelation, and the obvious envy of his slightly less rich family friend Reggie, Richie sets out to deliver the sleigh of presents to the Orphanage. He assures the Police Chief he can drive the sleigh, regardless of the fact that is actually a legal driver going with him, and no one seems concerned. I guess when you have money, you really can get away with everything?

Of course, unbeknownst to Richie or anyone, Reggie has found the master remote, which controls everything, and has decided to get even with Richie for being richer than he, and creates chaos by taking over the sleigh. Richie crashes into pedestrians, and goes right by the Orphanage, through shrubbery, until it goes down the path of a closed dangerous road. Richie and Cadbury manage to get out, but the presents and sleigh go flying, and explode in the fakest explosion I have ever seen. The visual effects were really terrible throughout the whole movie, sadly. Cadbury is hurt, and Richie vows to get help, but along the way overhears people talking about how he’s ruined everything, and is spoiled, etc. Well, he did drive underage, so his is spoiled, but what did they expect? All thoughts of helping Cadbury (out on the cold, cold snow) now gone, Richie ends up in Keanbean’s lab, sulking. As you do. He (of course) wishes Richie Rich had never been born (yes, actually Richie Rich, not me, or I…), forgetting all about the wishing washing machine. His wish, of course, comes true.

Richie wakes up in his room, but it’s different. It’s now Reggie’s room, and Reggie’s world. After suing his own parents, and being given to the Riches, he now terrorises everyone, and is effectively running the town (now known as Reggieville not Richville). Outside, Richie’s old friends, Gloria and co, hate Reggie, and think Richie is a friend of his. They’ve never heard of Richie Rich, and run away from him. After Richie is discovered in the dining room, he runs across the table of food (which looked fun), and makes a dash for it out the doggy door, taking Dollar (his/Reggie’s dog) with him. Richie is now on the run, being chased by the Police (who look like Gestapo) for dognapping. For some reason, Richie goes to the bank with Dollar, and is chased in there too. Finally, seeing that a certain band is playing locally, Richie pops in to look for their groupie, and Cadbury (plus awesomely fake wig) appear. I assume the band is supposed to be British, given Cadbury is, but they sound more Australian to me, with a sometimes fake British accent. Of course, somehow the police get a tip off that ‘Richie Rich’ (and they know his name how? He doesn’t exist?) is with the band, and they show up. The typical hot blonde twin groupies cover for Richie in deceiving the police, and soon he’s out and about with Cadbury, searching for Keanbean.

Meanwhile, Reggie, incensed that someone stole his dog and hasn’t been caught, goes on tv to say if this kid is not found, he’ll cancel Christmas. Yep, turn off their power, and all that. I guess they could still celebrate, but without power? Anyway, Gloria looks like she’s going to call up to report Richie. Keanbean, although not working for the Riches (because Richie’s Dad decided because he didn’t have a son, he wouldn’t hire a scientist?) but owning his own magic shop. He still though, decided to create the wishing machine, although it is minus one wishing bone. No problems though, the bone is in the state museum, and Richie’s friends show up just in time. Gloria didn’t report Richie, she got more people to believe in him! A rambling kid who’s the number one most wanted right now. Girl must have charm speak (Percy Jackson reference…). They successfully manage to get the wishing bone, evading Reggie’s parents who now work at the museum (what a cool job though, Night at the Museum anyone?) and head back to Keanbean’s where Reggie and the inept cops are waiting. Richie and co get locked up, and Reggie takes the Wishing Machine back to the Rich Mansion and uses it to wish he could fly – but not very well. Careful what you wish for Reggie! That’s wishing 101, amateur. Meanwhile, things look bad for Richie and co, because not only does Richie still not exist, but it looks like they won’t get Christmas after all (is Christmas in jail better than no Christmas?). However, the gang are saved by the bell – actually no, saved by Root Canal! They manage to get over to the Rich Mansion, and try to use the Wishing Machine while Reggie is sleeping. It doesn’t work, and Keanbean hurries to fix it but before he does, Reggie flies downstairs in a rage. Everyone attacks him, and the Police Chief quits because he doesn’t want to work for someone who would cancel Christmas (hear hear!) and Richie wishes himself back and BAM!

All is right in the world. Everyone had been worried sick about Richie, who was actually in Keanbean’s lab the whole time (no one thought to look in the Mansion?) and Richie apologises, and all is right with Christmas :)

Rating –

Kylie – 6.5. It gets an extra half point for being part of the Richie Rich franchise (you have your own McDonalds?!) and an extra half a point for having David Gallagher, who carried this movie. Otherwise, the special effects alone were enough to bring it down, but add the plot holes and over done concept…

Sarah - 5.5 – While the brilliance of the Rich family (and its franchise) has been a saving grace to this film, the low-budget special effects, major plot holes and predictability largely affect its staying power.

Cancel Christmas

Starring: Judd Nelson, Justin Landry, Natalie Brown, John Fleming, Sante Scaletta, Connor Price.

The Board of Directors, represented by the crabby Constance, have determined that the children around the world care more about giving than receiving this Christmas, and so, they want to cancel Christmas. (Wouldn't this put them out of a job?) Santa Claus, who apparently has little say, has asked for a way to prove that kids do care about giving, and is given an opportunity in three boys: the naughty Farley and Steve, and the nice Adam. Adam's Mum Jeannie happens to be Steve and Farley's teacher, and seems to have a lot on her plate, what with two rich spoiled brats pulling pranks on unsuspecting janitors and getting away with it, and a recently disabled son who wants no help from his Mum. When Farley and Steve take their prank pulling too far on the school janitor, Santa (or Kris Frost, his 'undercover' name) and his free assistant Mr Elfman, make a timely appearance, convincing the janitor to take another job with North Pole Enterprises, and convincing the Principal to hire them in his place. Now, so far we are not too impressed. The acting is kind of corny, the plot is predictable, and while that's kind of what we love in made-for-tv Christmas movies, this one doesn't have us sold. Yet.

We soon find out that Jeannie's husband/Adam's Dad died in the car accident that disabled Adam, and bells start going off. Kylie predicted at this point that Santa and Jeannie will hook up, because come on, there's got to be some romance right? Helped by the fact that Santa and Mr Elfman move in to Jeannie and Adam's house, in the apartment over the Garage, things seem a little too predictable. Santa and Elfman hang out with Adam and Jeannie, and Adam seems like a good kid, just kind of lost and sad. He's been living in a room on the ground floor since the accident, because he can't make it up the stairs alone. He also has trouble getting into the house, with stone stairs leading to a porch. And so things come together, with pranksters Farley and his side kick Steve determining that something doesn't seem right with Mr Frost, who seems overly familiar with the boys. Determined to get him fired also, the boys devise a plan which involves glue - and find themselves in a sticky situation when Frost and Elfman have to help them out. In return, they boys promise to help out with a special project, which turns out to be helping Frost and Elfman install a large wooden ramp for Adam. Steve seems pretty into it, and we like him better already. Farley, however, is still kind of distant, and shows up with his dog. Adam and the dog connect right away, and Farley explains that the dog is a helper dog, who belonged to his own mother before she died - about a year ago. At this point, Kylie changes her prediction to Farley's Dad and Adam's Mum hooking up. This is supported by the fact that Jeannie is trying to reach Farley's workaholic father about his school performance… And is pretty much rebuffed (not to mention Mrs Claud was mentioned in passing).

Farley and Adam get along well, and it's kind of cute, Farley cares about the younger boy. A slow rift starts to form between Farley and Steve, and Steve enjoys helping out with the ramp, and Farley just gets more involved in finding out the truth about Frost. Feeling a little down about his lack of progress with the three boys, Frost decides to take a break and do some Santa-ing at a local mall. He causes a small ruckus when he asks a little girl what she is getting her mother for Christmas, instead of what she wants. The kids seem to love this, and a local news station catches video footage of Santa with all different kids - the only catch being in every shot, Santa is a different race, based on how the kids see him. One of the shots shows him how we see him - as Mr Frost, and both Adam and Farley see this. Farley starts to dig deeper. Steve meanwhile, felt so good about helping Adam with his ramp, he starts to get the kids from school involved in fundraising for a wheelchair that can go upstairs, and pretty much do Gymnastics. Steve is surrounded by the ladies - go Steve! and he and Farley hardly hang out anymore. Steve asks Farley to get involved, but Darley is distracted, and annoyed that Steve doesn't care about his Frost-revealing campaign.

Seems that there's more going on with Farley than first seen (shocker!). The poor kid is devastated over his Mum's death, and the only company he has at home is his Butler (side note - for someone who can hire a Butler and throw money around school like he does, Farley's house seemed pretty average). When Farley's Dad won't make it home to attend the Science Fair he worked hard for, Farley destroys his project and enters nothing. This prompts Jeannie to call his Dad again, with a little argument ensuing. Yep, these two are getting married! Finally, Frost and Elfman decide to do something about Farley's Dad, although it is certainly like nothing we had imagined - Elfman dresses in some of Jeannie's clothes and a grey wig - pretending to be a Grandmother (take a hint Jeannie!) and sits in the same airport lounge as Farley's Dad. 'She' then wields this story about her son and how he's thrown himself into his work since his wife died, and it's really affecting her Grandson, etc., and Farley's Dad gets the hint. He goes home and watches the video his wife left him, a very emotional video for both Farley and his Dad, and the audience, and finally seems to let go a little.

Steve meanwhile, has managed to get the wheelchair going. He's invited the kids from school and Frost and Elfman and everyone along to Adam and Jeannie's, where the ramp has been removed. Farley has bought along the local news, determined to catch Frost on film again, and the whole county watches as Adam gets surprised with his new wheelchair. Frosts phone rings signalling that Adam and Steve have learnt the true meaning of Christmas, yay! But there's not much time left, and Farley is a hard egg to crack. But his Dad, who put some money towards the wheelchair shows up too, and apologises for not being there more, like Farley's mother wanted (and he also sets a date with Jeannie - sooo on the money!) Farley, so overcome with emotion, or maybe just cause Adam is a cool kid, decided to let Adam have his helper dog. Ring! All three boys have learnt the true meaning of Christmas, and it's saved. Or is it? Constance the Board Member shows up, and is all annoyed and stuff, and isn't being cool about the miracle. But then, Santa figures out what's really upsetting her - she didn't get the pony she wanted as a kid, and boy can she hold a grudge! She gets her pony, and Christmas is saved for real, with Frost, now back to Santa, and Elfman disappearing right before everyone's eyes. The news guy is ecstatic! Breaking story! But the whole thing didn't film, and it seems like everyone is gonna have a good Christmas but him. Santa and Elfman then appear in the sleigh led by Reindeer flying through the sky, and everyone looks on. It's a Christmas miracle, and these three boys have saved it for us all!

Rating:

Sarah and I both gave this one a 6.5… We don't always agree, although we mostly have similar ratings. Towards the beginning I thought this would rate lower… Good premise but a little too corny for my taste. However it really picked up, and Steve and Adam won me over. Santa was a little too creepy for me, and Elfman was a little too hyper creepy, but otherwise good movie :)